My heart hurts. 

I will never again see the mischievous chuckle you would make after something funny but naughty was said. 

The coy smile when you were reminiscing about walking up to Tom Selleck at a restaurant & giving him a big hug. 
Or the proud way you would announce your age when asked (93!).
 
I'll never feel your warm, soft skin as your hand grasps mine, or hear the sweet sound of "hello, dolly" that I was always greeted with.  

I'll miss you quietly singing the theme song to CSI with my dad whenever it came on.

I'll miss seeing the excitement in your eyes when you saw that we were having some type of corn for dinner, and in your last few weeks, the ice cream that you enjoyed and comforted you so much.

I will laugh at memories of you describing a great meal as "best I ever had, hanging off the plate". 

I'll miss you cheering for Siena & The Lakers, reading your "bibles"-The Enquirer and The Star magazines-and dishing about the latest celebrity scandals, and tsk tsking the trampy starlets on tv ("Well, she thinks she's hot shit") and ogling the cute guys.

I will miss making gravy with you on Thanksgiving and stuffing the calamari with you on Christmas Eve.  We were a great team and had it perfected.
 
I'll miss so many things about you, but I am not complaining.


I was blessed with 38 years of the most wonderful grandmother I could ever ask for. You have filled my life with so many wonderful things, accepted me as I am, loved me unconditionally, given me everything you could & then gave some more.


 You have taught me the importance of generosity, a good sense of humor, and towards the end, patience. 
 
As a child you were always there with hugs & kisses, long beautiful fingernails to scratch my back & put me to sleep, and a napkin-wrapped piece of candy or confection smuggled from work in your purse for us. 

You sat through endless shows & pageants that my childhood friends and I would put on for you when you'd babysit...eat crazy concoctions Paulie & I would make up when we played restaurant...endure my picking and poking at your hair when I would play hair salon. 


You taught my teenage friends and I how to play poker before it was an "in" thing to do, took us all to BINGO, embraced Patrick, and all of my friends throughout my life, accepted their diversity and loved them like you were their Nonny, too.

And if any of it wasn't easy for you, or you didn't want to do it, it never showed. You were always an enthusiastic participant in our everyday lives & I can never thank you enough for that. 

And I am grateful for every moment that I got to spend with you, especially in these last few weeks.  I know that I could not do much to take away your pain but I know that you found comfort in the flowers and pictures that we decorated your room with, the ice cream that we brought you when you asked (even when it was 4 times in one day!), rubbed your head, held your hands, and in your last moments, gathered around you with the rest of the family and rubbed your leg as you took your last breath.
 
And I will miss you until the day I take mine.

When that time comes I hope that I have touched as many people in as many wonderful ways as you have.



I love you forever and I want you to know you will always be my Nonny.